Addicted people have unexpressed anger, rage and shame.
It is important in this study of understanding addiction to realize that addicted people have unexpressed anger, rage and shame within. Anger, rage and shame are feeling reactions that happen when one has experienced injustice, loss, fear, violence, abuse, and lack of love and touch. Anger itself is a natural, normal, and even necessary reaction to some of life’s painful happenings. Rage is anger wrapped in shame.
Anger as an emotion is not good or bad. It is not negative or positive. It is energy in motion in the body – a reaction. There can be deep consequences when anger progresses to rage.
The feeling or energy of anger is a natural body reaction to any of the abusive conditions we have mentioned. It is in your body until it is expressed. If you did not express it, it is still in your body, stored in some way in one of your energy centers.
If your family taught you NOT to express anger, or if your family did not allow anger, or if your family punished you for anger, you have probably learned to CENSOR your anger. If you heard a lot of yelling, or if you had a lot of spanking, you then experienced a lot of ANGER ENERGY, which is INSIDE YOUR BODY.
Some people deny their anger. If you turn your anger inward, you become depressed and it will eventually show up in your body as disease. If you turn your anger outward you may be violent and full of rage toward other people, and that causes pain in your relationships.
Healthy expression of anger is simply expressing the feeling of anger as it occurs before it changes to rage. You can tell someone you are feeling angry without hurting them.
For real healing also give yourself permission to release any old anger energy from your past in a healthy way. Give yourself permission to release any stored energy in your body. It is safe and it is good to release anything inside you that may block you from your true self. Releasing rage in a healthy way means getting help from a therapist or group Vs. exploding on some person in your life. Make sure you release old rage in a safe and sacred setting.
Anger is okay. You deserve to express all of your feelings. All your feelings are a part of you. As you are healing yourself, it is important to discover everything locked inside.
You may be hiding your anger from yourself. The following is a list or sign of your hidden anger. You are the expert.
- Habitual Lateness
- Procrastination
- Sarcasm
- Tired all the time
- Ulcers
- Irritability
- Sleepy at Inappropriate Times
- Teeth Grinding
- Depression
- Clenched Jaws – while sleeping
- Fist Clenching
- Excessive Sleeping
- Smiling when something is Painful
- Boredom and Apathy
- Facial Tics
- Disturbing Dreams
- Continual Stiff Neck
- Sadistic Humor
- Constant Cheerfulness
- Frequent Sighing
- Monotone Speaking Voice
- Slow Movements
Of course, when your true feelings are not expressed outward in the moment as they occur, addiction behaviors will cover up your feelings and you may temporarily feel better, until you don’t.
By Dr. Monica Bennett
